What do we do now?

HALO KELUARGA DAN TEMAN YANG TERKASIH SAYAAA<3

okay.  well.  I don't have a lot to say this week.  This was the SLOWEST. week. i have ever. had.  on my mission holy cow.  I was so pumped to get the week started and like, everyday... EVERY. SINGLE. APPOINTMENT. CANCLED. !!!!!!!!!!  this has never happpened to me before!!! I was so stressed!!!!!!!!  

So we did see Ibu Kristin again, she's so cute, and she has this way nasty dog that stinks named Oni.  We tried to invite her to be baptized........ lol.   She likes the Book of Mormon, and she even invited her friend to come learn with us (ayyyeee another simpatisan!!)  and we read from 3 Nephi 11 (she's already been taught the Restoration)  and the spirit was so strong!!!  We asked her if she believed the book of Mormon was the word of God?  She said yes,  we asked her if she believed if Joseph smith was a true prophet, she said yes.  SO HELLO, DO YOU WANT TO GET BAPTIZED???  "Oh, I'm already baptized in my own church, our churches are the same right?"  YA AMPUN.  It's so hard to explain to people about Priesthood authority... so hopefully this next week we can clarify.... cuz let me tell ya, it got real awkward after that hahahah.  Wahdu.   I think i've already shared this quote ,  "If the Church wasn't true, the missionaries would have messed things up a LOONNNG time ago."  This quote always helps me feel sooo much better! because i'm not the perfect teacher, I still need to learn more bahasa, and missionary work is so hard!!!!  But it's the LORD'S work, so it just keeps going and He makes up the difference! Thank goodness the Book of Mormon is true, thank goodness the Holy Ghost really does bring conversion because without it,  theres no way I could do this haha!  

I guess something a little dramatic happened too haha.  So, yes, my emails are full of butterflies and rainbows and how wonderful everything is kan?  Well, I'm gonna be real for just a second.   I love love looove being a missionary, I'm learning so much about myself, and for God's love for me, but I'm still human, I still make mistakes and I still feel emotions ya?   This week,  was a really really REALLY hard week.  I've never had so much anxiety before my mission, (I mean, i'm in charge of the eternal salvation of this beautiful city, not much to stress about right? (; )  and also,  at times,  I still get really homesick,  and I've been having these crazy moments of depression, where i'm just so so sad!  and then I get frustrated with myself because '''I'M A MISSIONARY I HAVE TO BE HAPPY AND PERFECT AND GINI GINI GINI"  but no, I don't have to be perfect,  I'm still a human being.  Sister Davis and I one night had a heart to heart and just cried together!  We were missing home and feeling hopeless because nothing was working out!!  3 of my simpatisan's have been baptized!  Shouldn't i be happy??  I seriously thought there was something wrong with me!  I literally felt like I was turning into a robot, waking up in the mornings was dreadful, I wasn't happy to go out!  and I couldn't wait to go back to bed.  I felt like we were trying to force lessons to happen and just visit people just to visit people.  I had no idea what Heavenly Father wanted me to do because nothing was working out!!  It was this never ending cycle and I didn't know what to do.  

So, one companion study, Sister DAvis and I read Alma 8 .  Alma was having great success in his "area"  he brought thousands of souls unto Christ, and then "transfers" happened and he had to go to Ammonihah (i think)  there he was spit on and beat upon and all these terrible things happened to him!!!  He was so depressed too, because nothing was working out!  It says in verse 14: that being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul because of the wickedness of the people"  Hey,  that kinda sounds like EXACTLY how i was feeling!  But and angel came to Alma,  he told Alma he was blessed for his faithfulness in keeping the commandments and commanded him to return.   Alma had no idea if things would get better of if they would turn out.  He then met Amulek,  got to know him and got some food and water.  Alma then testified of his call as a missionary and the two of them became great missionaries together!

When I read the words from the Book of Mormon at that time,  I recieved an answer to my prayers.  I felt exactly like Alma, I felt so hopeless and so depressed,  but I don't ever need to feel that way!  God listens to my prayers, and everything happens for a reason,  maybe allllllll of the lessons and appointments we had canceled because we had to meet someone on the train, or at the park, or at the mall who was ready to receieve the gospel!  And we did! We contacted so many more people this week and we have 3 more investigators.   I hope you all can learn from your experiences too, if you keep praying for guidance I know you can find the answers in the Book of Mormon. I feel so much better about myself as a missionary.  I know I'm not perfect and I know sometimes things don't work out,  but I know God knows what's best for me at whatever time and place here in Indonesia, and i know he does the same thing for all of you in your lives.  Trust in Him,  pray everyday, read your scriptures and ponder them,  I promise there are scritpure stories in the Book of Mormon that you can relate to your life!  I know the Book of Mormon is true, and I know sometimes life can be so hard, but as we're faithful in following Jesus Christ everything will work out whether or not we realize it!  God loves you,  you are important, and all He asks of us is to try our best everyday!! 

I hope my mopey story turned out to be more spiritual and happy ahah, I'm so glad I'm here in Indonesia, and I'm so glad to be serving the Lord at this time in my life! Have a good week!

1)  MY WARD IS THE BEST THANKS FOR THE PACKAGES!!