HALO! Bagaimana kabar anda?
WOW. I can't believe tomorrow makes it 2 weeks!! It feels like i've been here for AGES ahhaa, but I love it!!!
1. Uh, sorry to those that didn't get my first email last week, turns out I was added y'all to "contacts" and not my "mission group emai" LOL SORRY MOM AND DAD
2. Natalie, if you're reading this, I was the one that finished off your peanut butter,(and ate most of it) fall semester HAHAHAHAHAHA LOVE YOU
3. quick funny story before I tell you guys of this HUMBLING week. K, if you know me, you KNOW the four words that I say the most is "I think I lost ___" WHATEVER ya know. So real quick overview of my two weeks in the MTC, I definitely lost my SB card thingy to my camera RIGHT after I emailed you guys, (that's why there werent many pics cuz we were in a hurry) AND I DROPPED IT or something who knows. It's fine, I found it, BUT ALL THE PICTURES WERE GONE. So this weeks pictures are so scraggly I apologize. BUT ANYWAYS, I was in the bathroom doing my thing right before gym time AND BOOM, I DROP MY MTC CARD IN THE TOILET, I started dry heaving and gagging and my companions were ROLLING on the floor laughing, I literally boiled my hands, fingers, and card in BLEACH and hot water, It was AWFUL hahahaha, I'm such a clutz here!! Same ol' me.
Tuesday: ITS PDAY PDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON PDAY. Nothing much happened except I had a BREAKDOWN ahhahaha, I'm so emotional here you guys, but here's the thing. Missionary work is HARD and I was being so hard on myself and worrying that I wasn't doing my best or that the spirit was broken inside me ( I know ridiculous) but I seriously was feeling so down. I felt a little better after crying to my Heavenly Father in the celestial room, but to be honest I WAS BUMMED OUT, who knows why, Just a lot of stress and feelings pent up ya know. UNTIL. TUESDAY NIGHT DEVOTIONAL WITH ELDER. RUSSEL. N. NELSON!!!!!!! What!?!? an apostle for my first devotional here?!?! COOL
He LITERALLY changed my life, and I have a whole new perspective of myself.
Basically I was letting my past mistakes bring me down, and I was telling myself "Sister Rowntree, you're not perfect, you wont be able to teach with the spirit blah blah blah." AND THEN, these words come out of an apostles mouth " "As oft as my people repent will I forgive them for their transgressions" Put your trust in HIM, some of you may have made mistakes before, but the Savior is NOT DISAPPOINTED in anyone who TRIES to repent" I was in AWE. I was looking around like "IS ANYBODY HEARING THIS?!?" "HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR?" It was so amazing, I was sitting there bawling like a baby ahaha!!
YOU GUYS. DONT TAKE COUNSEL FROM YOUR FEARS, If you're trying everyday to continuously and CONSCIOUSLY repent, You WILL have a change of heart. And I'm not even talking about the big sins, we make mistakes everyday! We will never be perfect and the Lord knows that! We are LITERALLY embedded in the palm of His hands, He stained the cross with His blood for US, and our mistakes, and weaknesses, and shortcomings, and trials, and all the pain we would ever feel in this life. I love my Savior, and Russel M Nelson really taught me to just let the past go and GET TO WORK SISTER! I'm always thinking about myself, this work is about HIS CHILDREN, Heavenly Father NEEDS US, not just missionaries but you guys too to reach out to His children and bring them home to Him.
Wednesday: Was a normal day, studied my butt off for hours and it was great! This past week I've been trying something new. I bought one of those cheap little book of Momons and chose a Christlike attribute to study. I chose obedience, and as I read each verse and tried to really ponder about each verse I'd tried to find examples of obedience in every chapter. WOW. NEPHI RULES. Hes so awesome, never complained ONCE, and as I studied about obedience this week I would catch myself saying "sister Rowntree, stop being a Laman and Lemnuel, and STOP COMPLAINING," It's so hard sometimes, to fight against the natural man, I've learned this week that I really need to be more conscious with my thoughts and actions. I need to turn out more like the Savior and Nephi, instead of turn in.
Thursday: It was our last lesson with Reza!!! It was truly bitter sweet, and it was our first time as a companionship to go off from the lesson! Like instead of just sitting there reading here our notes LOL , we tried so hard to follow the spirit! And she accepted our invitation to get baptized!! Guys, it's INSANE, that I've only been here for 2 weeks, and I can UNDERSTAND Bahasa Indonesia!! It's all thanks to the Lord that's for sure. But I asked Reza, "Do you have faith In our Savior Jesus Christ?" And she said "Mulai... (She's beginning to.) so Sister Patton bore a beautiful testimony , inviting her to "Start to exercise that fatih, and be baptized, to follow Christ's example, so that she could live with her mother again one day" It was awesome. We later watched a video of Reza telling us that she truly felt loved by her Heavenly Father. That's all I needed to hear to boost my confident as a missionary.. The Lord will help us bare witness of the truth, my purpose is to invite others to COME unto CHRIST, by helping them feel loved, and the Lord and the Spirit will do the rest. I'm just the Lords instrument.
Friday: Okay, I was sassy again this day. I was SO TIRED, and getting frustrated in class and I was NOT humble at all. I started freaking out again about the spirit, that it was broken inside of me or something, because I don't feel that burning bosom thingy every time I teach or bare testimony or 24 hours of the day. I thought something was wrong with me!! So there I was again doubting myself and building up all these emotions and Brother Blazer was like , "okay, lets read from Kitab Mormon ya?" and a sassy thought crossed my mind, "Oh sure, let's discuss the Book of Mormon in a language I CANT SPEAK OR UNDERSTAND SURE" (so so sassy.) but then I realized I could have my english scriptures opened lol. ANYWAYS we read in 3 Nephi 27 (go read it) and verses 20, 19, 30 & 31 hit me like a freight train. There I was turning IN again! Thinking only about myself! (If I had my scriptures I'd type the verses out, but we're actually waiting for our laundry to get done, so sorry just look them up!) My whole mindset changed again! And Brother Blazer had us just sit in silence for a few minutes, and I could finally FEEL that burning bosom, but it was over my entire BODY.. READ THE BOOK OF MORMON you guys, if you're feeling lost or abandoned or confused, read the Book of Mormon, and then pray in faith, and the Holy Ghost will speak to you, isn't that the promise in Moroni 10: 3-5? The Holy Ghost will bare witness that it's true, but it may not come as a GIANT RUSH OF SPIRITUALNESS burning in your bosom, it may just be a thought, or a peaceful feeling. My district then all testified to me that the spirit has His own LANGUAGE, just like we're learning bahasa Indonesia, the spirit has his own language too!! We have to learn to LISTEN, and to be HUMBLE and to stay SPIRITUALLY IN TUNE, to be able to hear what the spirit wants to tell you. He speaks to us ALL so differently, none of us are the same so of course we're not going to feel the same things or receive the same impressions. This is why we're always told to read the Book of Mormon everyday, it will guide you in your life. I testify and know that's true.
Saturday: (Sorry this is getting long, BUT I'VE LEARNED SO MUCH THIS WEEK SO) K. Guess who walked into class to teach us this day. REZA. Turns out her real name is Sister Bartholamew (cant spell to save my life) AND WE KNOW EACH OTHER FROM INSTAGRAM HAHAA , so I guess our teachers are our investigators, BUT THEY'RE STILL REAL TO ME. To make this quick, she had us role play by teaching the Restoration using our pamphlets in 5 minutes. We're trying to learn how to teach simply. AND I COULD DO IT, and it was FUN. I was feeling so confident like OH YEAH BRING ON THE NEXT INVESTIGATOR I'M READY. Ohhhhh did the Lord humble my butt very shortly after that...
Sunday: Sundays are the best as usual, it's like our time to breathe and be free! I love sacrament meeting, I love getting there early, to really ponder about the things that I need to work on for the next week, and taking the sacrament helps me start over! I challenge you guys to try to make your sacrament more meaningful too. It will really change the way you prepare for the Sabbath. We had mission conference too, and it was fast Sunday! What a blessing it was to be able to fast! There are so many things that we can fast for, not just for people in need, but to give thanks to the Lord for all He gives to us. It was nice to go and bare my testimony again, it felt just like the old times back at home, our branch president also said this, "The more you testify and bare witness, the more your faith will grow" Boy do I need that. Bare your testimonies often you guys, you never know who needs to hear it! Also I learned in mission conference that I need to be more grateful for the things that I have. I'm always asking asking asking, so I bought a miracle journal, and for now on, I'm going to list, or write about all the miracles I see in a day, and how I've seen the Lord's hand in my life. When you reflect on your days, you will see that the Lord is always there.
Monday: OKAY I'll make this quick!! THIS. was the MOST. HUMBLING. Experience ever, (there's gonna be more to come I know) but MAN was my spiritual butt whooped into humility yesterday. We have a investigator, His name is Alfred, and he's Christian. He's living with his aunt and uncle who are both Mormon. So of course my lovely companions and I did our personal and companion study for DAYS before meeting him. I was feeling pretty confident because our role play went so well right? I had spent HOURS trying my best to understand Christ's Doctrine and to strengthen my testimony.
WELL. WHOOP DEE DOO. I forgot how to speak Indonesian. It was AWFUL. JUST AWFUL. We went in there, and tried to get to know him, and practice the "How to begin teaching stuff" we just learned that day. And it all just CRASHED AND BURNED. It was SUCH a wake up call to me. First off, one of my companions really can't speak or understand the language as well and Sister Patton had a brain fart too and instead of teaching simply he kept asking us questions about the Great apostasy and I was like NOOOOOO I prepared to teach about the Book of Mormon. YOU GUYS. I cant even explain to you how terrible it was hahaha. Poor Alfred just looked so confused, my language isn't great so I can only say "God gives men power God called Priesthood Authority" ONE WAY! Bahasa Indonesia is literal caveman talk like "God loves children His" Book of Mormon True" "Joseph Smith translate Book with Power God" IT SHOULD BE SIMPLE RIGHT??? NO.
So luckily Alfred said he'd like to meet with us again, and that he's very confused from all the information -_____- and I started crying again to Brother Blazer (Who was alfred lol) and I said "THESE ARE ACTUAL PEOPLE WE'RE GOING TO BE TEACHING, THESE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY NEED" Let's just say I cry a lot hahaha. But Brother Blazer is so awesome, and he said that we're great missionaries and our language is great and all this nice stuff, but I didn't believe him. He then had us role play teaching Ojeda again. Ojeda is this beautiful black woman, she's a minister, and she gives her EVERYTHING to God. and He had my companions and I teach Elder Hurt (who pretended to be Ojeda) I covered "God Reveals His gospel in every dispensation, and Jesus Christ's earthly ministry " We were practicing to teach simply.
As I bore my testimony to Ojeda, telling her that her Heavenly Father is AWARE of her and her needs and that the gospel will help her with her Family problems, I could feel the Holy Ghost.. I felt encompassed in God's love for me, and Ojeda. It was so amazing. It's like Heavenly Father was saying to me, "Ya okay, your lesson didn't go well. Get back up, and try again, you can do it, just try again." Heavenly Father is so aware of us you guys and our needs. He hears your prayers, humble yourself, submit your will to the Lord's Will. I'm sorry this email is like a mile long, but I've learned so much from my Heavenly Father this week, He is shaping me into the missionary that I need to be, I need to forget myself and turn my heart to Him. I love you guys so much, and THANKS FOR ALL THE LETTERS AND EMAILS. They seriously make the hard times so much better and remind my why I'm here. Come unto Christ, turn your heart to His. Rise each day with a smile on your face, with Hope and FAITH in your heart, with eyes searching for opportunities to serve others, I promise as you forget about your burdens and try to reach out and help someone else carry theirs, the Lord will LIFT yours off your shoulders too.
I love being a missionary and I love everything that I'm learning! I can feel myself growing and it's all thanks to the Lord! Have a good week! Saya mengasihi anda!<3
1) We needed one selfie for this week since I lost all my other pics oops
2) We've become besties, besties buy matching pjs
3) Don't ask lol
4) I love my zone!
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